


Love Me in Spite

by yuuchre



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Dancing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 17:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20213635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuchre/pseuds/yuuchre
Summary: With the Garreg Mach Ball fast approaching and all the girls at the monastery giving him the cold shoulder, Sylvain realizes that he's going to have to get creative if he wants to maintain his dignity and snag a date for the occasion. Enter Felix: hostile, unamused, and utterly confused, he's somehow dragged into becoming Sylvain's fake boyfriend for the better part of a month. During their time together, the two might just learn to separate love from lies and turn hopes they didn't know they had into realities.





	1. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have written and rewritten this half a dozen times since three houses came out ahh... i knew i wanted to do a fake dating au with these two ever since i fell in love with this ship (which was like five hours into the game... i have a type) because they're so absolutely perfect for it but damn was this hard to hammer down. hope you enjoy!!

“Hey, pretty lady. Want to go to the ball with me?” Sylvain smiled, silently praying that the girl he’d approached at one of the courtyard tables would accept and he could finally stop this day-long activity of begging girls to go out with him. Ever since he’d cut ties with a disgruntled caramel-haired girl, he’d been hearing snippets of rumours about himself and suspected that she was the one who’d started them as revenge.

Some of the stories were, unfortunately, true—damn Ingrid for yelling about that incident where he hit on her grandmother they were kids—and others were wild, unflattering exaggerations that caused girls to stare and giggle at him when he walked by. It seemed the entire female population was against him, and he looked like a moron for bragging that he was going to bring the cutest girl in the school to the ball to everyone he came across. It was terrible—every girl he turned to rejected him, usually while laughing or glaring at him.

His grin slipped for a moment when she rolled her eyes and giggled. “Uh, no thanks. Aren’t you into older women, anyway? Much, much older?”

Sylvain had to actively sustain his smile to keep his disappointment from showing. “That’s just a dumb rumour.” He gestured to the whole table and amped up his smile. “Come on, don't one of you ladies want to be the lucky girl on my arm at the Garreg Mach Ball? Anyone up for it?”

The table of girls exchanged glances. He knew he’d screwed up again when the first girl cleared her throat. “Did you really just ask my friends out just seconds after I rejected you? Really? People really are right when they call you desperate.”

“Well, I see you ladies aren’t interested. But know that I’ll be waiting if you change your mind.” He made eye contact with each of them and winked before he turned away, only then allowing his face to fall.

This sucked. He’d asked over two dozen girls around the monastery to the ball, but it seemed that his reputation had been tarnished because not a single one accepted. There was some hardcore girl teamwork going on here, which would’ve been impressive if it wasn’t working against him to make his life miserable. Showing up without a date wasn’t an option, especially after all that bragging he’d done. He’d look pathetic. There was hardly a point in going if he didn’t have someone with him, but who would still be willing at this point?

As climbed the stairs leading to his room, he was suddenly struck with an idea. Maybe it was true that no one wanted to date him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t ask someone to _ pretend _ to be his date. If he could beg or bribe a girl to pose as his girlfriend, he’d keep his dignity and maybe even eliminate some of those weird rumours floating around. All he needed was a girl to agree to the plan.

Sylvain ran back down the hall until he reached Ingrid’s room. He knocked rapidly, mentally filing through all the tactics he knew to girls over. When Ingrid opened the door and saw who was standing there, her expression soured. 

"Sylvain. What a pleasure. What do I have to get you out of now?" she asked flatly.

"I have a huge favour to ask. Will you pretend to date me so I can act like we're going to the ball together?"

Ingrid's eyes went wide. "Excuse me? Date you? No thanks. Anyway, were you not aware that I’m already going to the ball with Dorothea?” 

She tried to shut the door, but Sylvain stuck his foot inside before she could. "Really? Sorry, I didn’t know. Do you happen to know anyone who _ would _ be willing to fake being my date so I don’t get laughed at the entire night of the ball?"

"No. Solve your own problems, Sylvain. You’re going to end up hurting someone if you play with people’s feelings like that."

“Not if I find the right girl for the job. Which I really need help with…” He frowned and gave Ingrid his best puppy dog eyes.

“Oh look! There’s Felix. Go bother him instead of me.” Ingrid crushed his foot with the door until he drew it back and shut the door on him.

"The hell was that about?"

Sylvain turned around to see Felix staring at him, a hand on his hip and familiar annoyance glinting in his eyes.

And suddenly, Sylvain had an option he hadn’t considered before. He smiled and shook his head. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

"Whatever." Felix stared at him for a moment, then frowned and brushed past him as if it wasn’t worth his time.

Sylvain let his gaze drift after him as he disappeared into the stairwell, wondering if he’d actually be able to pull this plan off. Sure, things might get a little weird, but it would be worth it in the end. It might just be ridiculous enough to work.

✿ ✿ ✿

Sylvain strutted into the dining hall, a bouquet of anemone clutched in one hand and a grin plastered on his face. Nervousness had crept under his skin in the time before dinner, sowing tiny seeds of doubt in his mind and telling him that maybe this was a completely idiotic and terrible idea and he should turn around before he did something he'd regret. But he took a deep breath and shook his head, shoving those thoughts away for now.

"Felix!"

As Felix turned around in his seat at the dining table, Sylvain leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Felix recoiled, eyes wide and lips slightly parted, but Sylvain handed him the bouquet and started to talk before he could say anything. 

"Tomorrow, let's do something together. I know a great place in town where we can have lunch, or I can just watch you train if you want. Hit me up, babe." He winked and leaned in, his lips brushing against the curve of Felix’s ear as he whispered, “Sorry. I’ll explain later.” He leaned back and turned without waiting for an answer, ignoring the whispers and stares he'd attracted from people at various tables as he left the room.

The air was cool on his skin as he made his way through the courtyard, but it did nothing to quell his growing embarrassment. This felt weirder than he’d expected. Much weirder. He didn’t think it would be easy, of course, but still… that look on Felix’s face after the kiss… Sylvain pressed his lips together, suppressing a sigh. It had to be done. All would be well after this plan played out. Felix wasn’t his first choice in this scenario, but he didn’t really have any other options. Sylvain had known him for years, so it wasn’t like their ‘relationship’ would be totally out of the blue. Maybe pretending to date a guy would even turn out to be a fun change. It would be a learning experience, at the very least. And it wasn’t like this was a permanent arrangement. Things would be fine.

All that was left to do was explain the plan to Felix and beg him to agree, the latter of which much easier said than done. He’d probably have to do a lot of grovelling and pleading, but he was pretty sure that he could get Felix to say yes somehow. And he’d be sure to make it up to him—he could find a gift in town or buy him a meal or two sometime.

For now, Sylvain retreated to his room, too ashamed to go back to the dining hall for dinner. Hopefully, things would look brighter in the morning.

✿ ✿ ✿

The first thing Sylvain thought when he woke up was how glad he was that it was Saturday. The second thing he thought was _ oh shit _.

He'd actually done that, huh? Sashayed up to Felix and kissed his cheek, given him flowers, the whole shebang. Felix was going to be so pissed. Sylvain hoped he wouldn’t be angry enough to refuse even considering faking a relationship with him.

He rolled out of bed and got dressed, last night’s doubts evaporating in the air of a new day. He had nothing to worry about—he was just going out with one more person, and not even for real. So there were obviously no problems. It would be over soon enough.

Though, it occurred to him that if he wanted people to believe that he was interested in Felix for now, he probably shouldn't be flirting with girls like he usually did. He wouldn't be taken seriously if he split his attention like that. So as much as it pained him, he supposed he had to try and resist.

When he opened his door, something caught in the bottom from the outside. He stepped out and laughed aloud when he saw a bouquet of abused and dying flowers lying on the ground, the same ones he’d given Felix yesterday. He picked them up and gently removed the paper bound to the stems by the ribbon.

_ Fuck off _ was all it said, in Felix's delicate handwriting that never failed to surprise him no matter how often he saw it. He didn’t seem the type to have such charming penmanship with that hostile demeanour of his.

"No can do," Sylvain said in response to the note as he ducked into his room for a moment to toss the flowers in the trash. He chuckled again and started to make his way to the dining hall, relishing the idea of a meal after going to bed hungry.

He almost sprinted to the dining hall and pushed open the door with a relieved sigh, looking around and letting out a little breath of relief when he didn't see Felix. Curious glances seemed to follow him as he got his breakfast, but he pretended not to notice. He took his seat and smiled at Annette and Mercedes across the table, about to compliment them before he remembered his promise to himself not to flirt with girls. It wasn’t like they’d respond well, anyway… It just wasn’t his day. 

"Hey. Have you girls seen Felix today, by any chance?"

Annette glanced worriedly at her friend before responding. "Not today, no. Um, not that it's any of my business, but—"

"Annie! You shouldn't," Mercedes scolded, glancing between her and Sylvain, eyebrows furrowed.

"I just want to know what's going on between him and Felix! You have to admit that incident last night was kind of… unexpected."

Sylvain chuckled and waved his hand dismissively. "It's fine, I get it. I guess the feeling sort of snuck up on me, you know? With the ball coming up, I realized that he's the one I want to go with. As much of a shocker for me as it probably is for everyone else."

The girls exchanged a glance, their expressions unsure.

"So you aren't trying to trick everyone? And you’re not getting desperate because you can’t find a girl who wants to go with you?" Mercedes was playing with the ribbon in her hair, her eyes worried. 

"Yeah, I thought maybe you were just messing with Felix or leading him on or something. Sorry, I guess it was kind of mean to assume that, but we couldn’t figure out why you suddenly showed so much interest in him."

Well, this was certainly less than a positive interaction. Sylvain hadn't expected to be accused like that, especially not by two of the nicest people in the class. Yeah, it might seem a little strange that he came onto Felix so suddenly, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing to ever happen at the monastery by a long shot.

"Come on, I’m not that horrible," he said, trying to keep his tone light and teasing. Were the girls were worried about him or worried about what they thought he was capable of? He couldn't think of anything to follow up with after a few moments, so he distanced himself by picking at his food and trying to keep his smile from slipping.

✿ ✿ ✿

"Felix, baby!"

As Sylvain approached from behind him, Felix visibly stiffened. He dropped his mock sword and spun around, storming up to him with such a dark expression that Sylvain stopped in his tracks and was tempted to back up. Well, at least Dimitri and Dedue were right across the grounds, right there if he needed someone to save him from Felix’s wrath.

"You!" Felix grabbed Sylvain's collar and jerked his head down so their eyes were level. Yeah, he might just need that backup. "You jackass. What the hell was that in the dining hall? What were you trying to accomplish by making me look like a fool?” 

His amber eyes burned with fiery anger as he searched Sylvain's face, lips drawn tight as he waited.

"Look, I’m really sorry about that. The thing is…” He glanced up to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “I need a favour.”

“No.”

"Felix, my sweet." Sylvain lifted one of Felix’s hands and kissed his knuckles, causing him to rip both his hands away and hold them stiffly at his side. "You’re my only hope. I haven’t even told you what the favour is."

“I don’t want to hear it. My answer is no.”

“Just hear me out. I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend and go to the ball with me so I can win back the hearts of all the misguided girls of this school.”

Felix’s face went through half a dozen indistinguishable expressions before he settled on one with narrowed eyes and a tight jaw. “Are you joking?”

“I’m being completely serious. I need your help.”

“I don’t even know where to start with that. How—why me? What the ever-loving fuck possessed you to think asking me that would end well?”

Sylvain realized that maybe it was in his best interest to leave out the part where Felix was essentially his last resort. “Because I trust you, Felix. I’m scared to ask anyone else because they’ll laugh in my face, and I can’t take any more of that. I know that even though you might want to punch me or strangle me for asking, you won’t laugh. Not like them.” Slightly dramatized, but true nonetheless.

Felix stared at him for a long moment, his face going almost blank aside from the way he dropped his gaze for the briefest moment, giving away his uncertainty.

“Well, I don’t trust you. Leave me alone.”

He still sounded just as angry, but Sylvain could tell by his slip that there was a tiny crack in his foundation. All he had to do was find a way to keep breaking that down. “Come on, you’re not scared, are you? Think of it as a little competition—or, hey, I’ll pay you back. I’ll scout out the market every weekend, looking for merchants selling swords you’re interested in—anything you want.”

“I’m not going to be bribed like that.”

Wrong tactic. “Think of it as payment for doing me a favour. Please help me out? Hey, this way, you won’t have to deal with people bothering you to go with them to the ball because you’ll be taken.”

Felix stared sceptically at him, silent.

“By the Goddess—Felix, _ please. _I’m begging you to do this one thing for me. I can’t bear the idea of going to the ball alone. Please go with me.” Sylvain bit his lip, holding his gaze and trying to plead with just his eyes.

Felix groaned and rolled his eyes. “I despise you. How long would I have to do it?”

Sylvain tried not to break into a relieved laugh. “Only about three weeks, until the ball—then we can stage a break-up and the girls will flock to comfort me.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to stand this. Don’t forget about buying me that sword. I deserve compensation for going through with this idiocy.”

“Of course. Now, let’s do this for real.” Sylvain got down on one knee and smiled up at him. “Will you go to the ball with me, Felix Hugo Fraldarius?”

“What are you—yes, I will, now get up! You’re going to attract unwanted attention. I’m regretting this already, stupid bastard.”

Sylvain jumped to his feet and took Felix’s hands in his. “Thank you.”

Felix stared at him for a long moment before tugging his hands away and shoving them in his pockets. “Yeah, whatever. Now can I finally get back to my training?”

Sylvain smirked. “Only if I’m allowed to stay and watch, babe.”

✿ ✿ ✿

Felix's head spun as he made his way up to his room after a day of rage-fueled training, feeling hot all over in the worst way. He couldn't believe Sylvain—what kind of horrible, oblivious, insensitive asshole did someone have to be to act like that? Felix shouldn’t have said yes. That, he could admit, was a huge mistake on his part, but Sylvain had been looking at him with those soft, pleading eyes and he’d lost it. How was he supposed to say no? Stupid fucking Sylvain.

The night before, when Sylvain had embarrassed him in the dining hall, Felix had wondered for just a moment what it would be like if Sylvain actually _ did _ have feelings for him—but he knew better than to dwell on such ludicrous thoughts. He knew there had been something fishy about that dinner scene and now his suspicions had been confirmed. Sylvain was just using him to get girls. It was just as he expected, which should have made him relieved and glad. So why… why did he feel so crushed by the realization?

He tried to push the thought away but kept coming back to it, unable to face the feelings blossoming in his chest but also unable to ignore them. Okay, so he could admit that he felt a pinprick of hurt because Sylvain expected him to act like he was in love with him just to win back some girls. Honestly, did he even consider for one second how Felix felt? How badly it would hurt when Sylvain inevitably dropped him for a girl? Then again, why should he consider them? Felix knew Sylvain had never felt like he had to consider if Felix liked him or not. The unknown part of the equation was how Felix himself felt.

He was no fool. He saw the pesky signs: how his chest felt tight every time he saw Sylvain flirting with a girl, how his heart jumped whenever he gave Felix that caring, knockout smile of his, the one that appeared when he dropped his playboy front, and even how some nights his mind refused to let him sleep, instead keeping him up and sickening him as his thoughts orbited around one stupid redhead that refused to leave his mind. It wasn’t a new feeling. He’d been acquainted with it for years, at this point. But he’d never had a reason to address it until that dumbass opened the floodgates with a bouquet of flowers and a kiss on the cheek.

By the Goddess—he took it back, he really was a fool. He didn’t have time or energy for this ridiculousness. He felt… _ something _ for Sylvain. Unfortunately. But it wasn't like it mattered. It would never go anywhere—as if he would ever choose Felix over the dozens of girls lined up in front of him. It wasn't worth thinking about.

Felix fell back onto his bed as soon as he entered the room, his head aching. This was fine. In three weeks, he’d confirm that he couldn’t stand dating Sylvain and things would go back to normal. Just like he wanted.

✿ ✿ ✿

_ See you at breakfast, buttercup. p.s. I'll clean up the petals so don't freak out too much :) _

Sylvain’s note ricocheted in Felix's mind even though he'd trashed it right after he read it. He almost couldn't believe Sylvain would decide to sneak into his room while he was sleeping and scatter snow-white rose petals over literally every open surface. The only thing that kept him from strangling the idiot was the fact that he promised to clean it up, though his room would probably still smell like perfume for a day or two. And Felix wasn't sure he wanted him traipsing around his room unsupervised. Again. He grimaced at the thought of Sylvain being in his room when he was asleep and defenceless. Yes, they were supposed to act like they were dating, but this was going too far. No one was going to see the petals, so it wasn’t like they were cementing the lie. He probably just did it to get on Felix’s nerves.

As he angrily pushed his breakfast around on his plate, someone touched the back of Felix's neck and, to his horror, planted a kiss on his cheek. 

"Don't do that!" he spat, whipping his head around to shoot Sylvain an unamused glare. 

Sylvain gave him a relaxed grin and slid his hand under Felix's chin, pushing it up a bit and running his thumb along the skin just below his bottom lip. Felix felt his face heat up almost immediately, suddenly finding it hard to look Sylvain in the eye.

"Get off." He swatted his hand away and turned back to his food, ignoring the looks he was getting from the other students at the table. "Don't touch me."

"You're cute when you're mad. Hey, what did you think of the rose petals? And do you always keep your room unlocked, or were you just expecting me?" Sylvain took the seat beside him and bumped him with his elbow. 

Felix lowered his voice to a low hiss. "_ No _, I was just distracted and forgot to lock it. What you did was completely unnecessary. Honestly, what were you thinking? Let’s just keep it to mildly affectionate public interactions, okay? Don’t cover my damn room in flowers again, dumbass."

Sylvain whistled and raised his eyebrows. "Not a fan of roses, then? I was just trying to set the mood. White flowers are a good look for you, though. They give you a splash of purity, you know? Innocence. It’s almost cute.” He cleared his throat and gave a short laugh, like he was nervous. “What's your favourite flower?"

“Don’t ignore me when I talk to you.”

“Don’t ignore _ me _ when I ask you a question. But fine, I’ll find other ways to show you my affection. He reached out to touch his face again, but Felix shoved his hand away.

"Stop that." He shifted uncomfortably and looked down at his plate. He couldn’t do this. He really couldn’t do this. His chest was tight as he took a deep breath, fingers clenched tight around his fork.

“Felix.” He looked over at Sylvain, then down at his hand as the fork was gently eased out of hand and placed on the plate. Sylvain placed his hand over Felix’s and rubbed his knuckles with his thumb. “You know, you don’t… you don’t have to do this. Don’t force yourself.”

Felix squeezed his hand, hesitantly looking up. And there it was: that soft, exposed smile that he could lose himself in if he stared for too long. The smile he both hated and cherished. He blinked and shook his head. “I keep my promises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update should be out coming soon! oh, and a note: anemones can represent dark feelings like fading hope, but also anticipation which i thought was fitting for the current state of felix and sylvain's relationship. not that sylvain would know that lmao but i like the thought. the white roses mean "new beginnings" in this context. disclaimer: i'm not an expert on the language of flowers, but i think it's a pretty sweet concept. thank you so much for reading!!


	2. Stupid Locks, Stolen Keys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so so happy to announce that this fic now has amazing [fan art](https://cupofcolors.tumblr.com/post/187171774632/drew-a-scene-from-yuuchres-fic-love-me-in-spite) by the lovely [@cupofcolors](https://cupofcolors.tumblr.com/)!! Please check it out!! <3

Felix glared pointedly at his teacup, wishing he’d never agreed to help Sylvain. He splayed his fingers over his knees, clutching the fabric of his pants so he wasn’t tempted to pick up the teapot resting on the outdoor table and hurl it across the courtyard. 

“Aren’t you going to drink your tea?” He could hear the smile in Sylvain’s voice without having to look up at him. 

A moment of silence passed. “Maybe not. What did it do to deserve a frown like that?” 

Felix sighed and dragged his gaze up to look at Sylvain. A small smile danced on his companion’s lips. Of course he’d find this situation funny. It wasn’t like _ he _ was being torn apart on the inside every moment he spent here. 

“No one would believe it if I suddenly started mooning over you. I’m trying to make things realistic.” 

Sylvain shrugged. “Fair point. But, on the other hand, no one is going to believe it if you act like you hate being with me. Could you try and smile a little? For me?” 

Felix fixed him with a cool stare and lifted the teacup to his lips. To his surprise, even though it had become lukewarm, he found himself enjoying the familiar taste. 

“Almyran pine needles. Your favourite, right?” Sylvain was grinning at him, obviously proud of himself for making the effort to utilize that knowledge. 

“You really don’t half-ass this ‘romance’ thing, do you?” Felix muttered, pained to admit that he was right. This was the sort of thing that made their situation almost impossible to tolerate. Sylvain wasn’t required to play the charmer and hunt down Felix’s favourite tea and act like he cared. But he did, and Felix wanted to strangle him for it. “Who did you have to bribe for that information?” 

“No one, actually. I remembered because it’s sort of bitter, like you.” He paused for a moment, still grinning like an idiot. “Kidding. Kind of.” 

Felix ignored him. “I’ve decided that you’re going to train with me sometime.” 

Sylvain sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Doesn’t seem like I have a say in it. If that’s the price I have to pay for your help, I guess I can afford it.” 

“You’ll never get anywhere slacking off like you do. You’re going to end up dead on the battlefield one of these days.” 

“Why would I spend time training when I could be with a cute girl instead? I’m not going to die just because I missed a few sessions.” Sylvain lifted his cup to his lips, obscuring his seemingly perpetual grin. “But fine, fine. We’ll train. Eventually.” 

Felix left it at that, not in the mood to argue with him when he wasn’t being serious. He pushed the teacup away, way past his emotional limit. He’d wanted to leave since the moment he sat down at the table. Usually he opted to train after class, not participate in a stupid tea party. But before he could stand up, Sylvain started to speak, his voice hushed. 

“Has anyone asked you about… us?” 

“No, thank the Goddess. I don’t know how many people have made the assumption yet. I don’t even know what I’d say to someone who asked. As if I could… you know. Explain… as if…” His face burned as Sylvain stared, waiting for him to finish. He gestured between them and hoped his embarrassment wasn’t showing through. “As if this were real. It’s just ridiculous.” 

“No, it’s genius. It should be, considering the fact that I’m the one who came up with it. Just talk the talk and everything will be fine, regardless of how you actually feel.” 

“I’m sure you’re quite the expert at lying through your teeth,” Felix said dryly. “You’ve practiced it on enough women. But I’m not a liar. You were stupid to pick me to do this.” 

“I don’t lie to people.” Sylvain had his lips twisted into a tight pout. “Exaggerate, maybe. And don’t blame me when you’re the one who said yes.” 

Felix stood, bristling. “Don’t you dare say that when you’re the one who begged and bribed me to agree. Do you really think it’s wise to pick a fight with me when I’m the one helping you out?” 

Sylvain’s pout had been replaced with a look of genuine anger. He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut short when someone appeared beside their table. 

“Oh, my. Are the rumours wrong? Or have I interrupted a lovers’ quarrel?” Dorothea tapped the table and lifted an eyebrow. 

Sylvain was by Felix’s side in a second. He laughed a little and placed his hand on Felix’s lower back, pulling him a little closer and throwing a wink in Dorothea’s direction. “Just a misunderstanding.” He turned to Felix and frowned. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” 

Something in Felix snapped when he saw Sylvain wink at Dorothea, as if Felix was being ridiculous by getting upset and would be satiated with a cutesy apology. He hooked his fingers around Sylvain’s belt, pulled him close, and stood on his toes so he could look Sylvain in the eyes as he spoke. “A misunderstanding indeed, _ darling _. Make it up to me later, and actually mean it.” 

He abruptly let go and turned away, leaving Sylvain to explain them both. 

✿ ✿ ✿

For the smallest moment there, Sylvain had thought Felix was going to kiss him, of all things. His breath caught in his chest when he’d stumbled forward, their faces mere inches apart. He had to laugh at himself for expecting that kind of thing from Felix. It was almost embarrassing that he’d thought it would happen, like Felix had tricked him into revealing something hidden about himself. 

Dorothea startled him out of his thoughts with a laugh. “You certainly chose a feisty one! To think you’d end up going after someone like that… it’s quite a surprise.” 

Why was he always the one who got stuck explaining their so-called relationship to people? “I guess it is. But love is strange, you know? The heart wants what it wants.” 

“Your heart wants Felix?” 

Her expression was innocent, but he suspected she was trying to get something out of him. He chose his words carefully, hoping she wouldn’t press him anymore. “Yes, it does. He’s different. I know it’s unexpected, but I’d never hurt him.” 

Dorothea pointed after Felix. “I want to discuss this some more, but I think you should probably go after him. He looked fairly hurt.” 

“I probably should, huh? I will after I clean all this up.” He stacked Felix’s cup on top of his and did the same for their plates. 

Dorothea looked curiously at him for a few moments, then nodded. “Don’t forget that I want to talk to you soon.” 

“Oh, I’m looking forward to it, beautiful.” He winked before catching himself, his blood running cold when he realized he’d just flirted with her without even thinking about it. Dorothea stared at him, eyes wide in surprise. 

“Well—”

“Force of habit!” Sylvain blurted, laughing nervously. “Sorry. I forgot... um, I’m going to put these away. See you later.” 

She didn’t try to stop him as he rushed away, pieces of the tea set clutched unsteadily in his hands. 

✿ ✿ ✿

“Damn, you’re good today.” 

Felix scoffed, but he was smiling. It was easy enough to find Felix at the training grounds after Sylvain had cleaned up the tea. He probably spent more time there than in his own room. 

They were both panting as they circled each other, weapons at the ready. Sylvain took the opportunity to really look at Felix for a moment. He looked happier than Sylvain had seen him in days, with a wooden sword in his hand and his eyes bright with excitement. It made guilt well up in his chest, knowing what he’d done earlier without Felix there. They weren’t dating for real, so there was no reason for him to feel bad about it when the whole point of this arrangement was to get Sylvain a real girlfriend. So why did he feel so shitty for doing it? At any rate, it was nice to see him genuinely happy for once. 

Felix rushed forwards and hit the side of Sylvain’s torso when he was distracted. Sylvain stepped back and blocked him with his lance before he could swing again. 

“You’re distracted,” Felix said, going in for another round of swings that Sylvain had to rush to block with his weapon. 

“Maybe.” He pushed Felix’s sword back and tried to jab at him, but Felix easily deflected it and mercilessly barraged him with more attacks. Sylvain was not about to admit what was troubling him. “You’re not letting up, are you?” 

“No. You’re not going to learn if I don’t push you.” 

Sylvain frowned. “Too difficult. How long do we have to do this?” 

“Until your sorry ass can knock this sword out of my hands. Get to work.” 

As tired as he was, Sylvain refused to give up before Felix was satisfied. It was the least he could do to thank Felix for putting up with his antics and screw-ups. 

“Hey… do you want to go to a café sometime?” 

“Not particularly. But I won’t say no if it’s going to help keep up our act.” 

Right, Sylvain had to make sure people knew they were going together. It would be easy enough to casually mention it in class or something. Maybe they could even meet up with another couple and have a double date with them. 

“Okay, cool. I’ll find a nice place where we can go after class, and maybe invite another couple along with us.” 

After they’d sparred for another twenty minutes or so, Felix declared that they’d done enough for that day. He put up the training sword and left before Sylvain even finished putting his lance away. 

Sylvain wondered if he should have said something about Dorothea, but couldn’t decide what that would even be. Should he have celebrated the fact that a girl wanted to talk to him, or apologize for flirting and disrupting the precarious believability of their fake relationship? He could chase after Felix, but it felt like the time to do so had passed. He headed towards his room instead, wondering if he was making the right decision. 

✿ ✿ ✿

As the professor lectured the class about some battle technique Sylvain had stopped caring about ages ago, he was almost completely focused on the person beside him. Namely, Felix. His arms were wrapped tightly across his chest and his gaze bored into the wall, directed too far up to be aimed at the professor. 

Sylvain draped his arm over Felix’s shoulders and pressed his cheek to the top of Felix’s head, eyes trained on the professor so he appeared to be engaged in the lesson. “Could you try to look slightly less murderous? It ruins the whole ‘adorable couple’ look.” 

Felix jerked his head away and whispered back, his voice full of venom. “No. Shut up and get off me.” 

“How hard would it be to give me a smile or a kiss on the cheek once in a while? I kiss your cheek every day, so the least you could do is return it.” He planted a kiss on Felix’s temple, if only to push his buttons even further. 

“You little—get off! You know I don’t do that kind of thing. You can’t just expect to treat me like a lovesick schoolgirl and expect me to bend over backwards—“ 

Felix abruptly stopped talking. It took Sylvain a few moments to realize that the entire room had gone silent, and the professor had them fixed with a cool stare. 

“Is there something you’d like to share with the class, boys?” 

Felix subtly placed his hand on Sylvain’s knee and dug the tips of his fingers in without meeting his eyes, silently warning him to say something, and fast. Sylvain dropped his arm and slid away from Felix, painfully aware of how awkward they must have looked. 

“Nope, nothing to see here. Lovers’ quarrel, you know? Sorry, Professor.” 

Someone giggled, and the lesson resumed, as if the interruption had never happened. But when Felix gave him an angry, hurt glare, Sylvain knew that he’d be hearing about this later. 

✿ ✿ ✿

After class, Ingrid pulled Sylvain into his room to talk, ignoring his protests. 

“What were you _ thinking _? It seems I’ve underestimated how childish you can be. I can’t believe you.” She was scolding him before she even slammed the door shut. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Sylvain. You seriously need to grow up before you end up hurting someone.” 

“Fine, I’ll bite. This is about Felix, right? You’re overreacting. Jealous, perhaps?” Sylvain folded his arms over his chest. She was the one who wouldn’t help him in the first place, so it wasn’t like she had a right to judge him. 

Ingrid’s scowl deepened. “I don’t know what Felix was thinking when he agreed to this. He must have—I don’t even know! You never stop to think about the consequences that your actions will have. He must realize that, so why did he allow himself to get dragged into this?” 

“It’s not like that, Ingrid. The only consequences will be positive ones. It’s not your problem, anyway. This is between Felix and I, so there’s no reason for you to get yourself involved.” 

“I’ll be forced to get involved when I have to clean up the casualties you leave strewn behind you. At the very least, be careful.” 

Sylvain shrugged and sighed. “Come on, you know I’m not out to hurt anyone. This is just a temporary arrangement benefiting both parties.” 

“I can’t decide whether to be more angry at you or Felix, actually. You’re being immature, but he’s agreed to dig his own grave. Did you force him into it?” 

“Wh—Ingrid, please. Of course I didn’t force him. There may have been a tiny bit of wheedling involved, but I’d never make him do it against his will.” 

She stared at him for a long moment, lips set in a hard line. She seemed to be thinking over something, or maybe deciding the best method to chew him out some more. 

“It’s not right for you to lie to people like this. Unless you intend to date Felix purely because you want to, I’d suggest you quit while you’re ahead.” 

“Your concern flatters me, but I think I can handle it myself. I’ll assume you’ll be there for me so I can cry on your shoulder when I tragically break up with Felix?” He winked and sat down on his bed, hoping she’d take the hint and leave him alone so he could take a nap. “Oh… and could you maybe not mention this to anyone? The plan will be ruined if word gets out that I orchestrated this whole thing, not to mention how ashamed poor Felix would be if that happened.” 

Ingrid let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine, I won’t say anything. For now, at least. I hope you think about what you’re doing. We’re going to discuss this again later.” 

“Yeah, yeah. See you.” He fell back onto the bed and sighed as she left. Multiple girls wanted to talk to him, but it was only because were concerned or curious about Felix. This plan might end up winning him more girls than it would for Sylvain. He frowned at the thought, annoyed. It would be just his luck that Felix ended up with a woman while Sylvain himself stayed tragically single. 

✿ ✿ ✿

“We need to set boundaries.” Felix hung up his sword and turned towards Sylvain, folding his arms over his chest. 

Another round of training had just ended, and Sylvain was eager to get back to his room to sleep. “Boundaries?” 

“Yes, boundaries.” 

Sylvain shrugged, rubbing the cuff of his jacket between his fingers. He quickly filed through his memories to find the thing he did that pissed Felix off enough to prompt him to bring this up, assuming something he did triggered this confrontation. It was probably building up over the past few days and set off by the scolding in the classroom. So he could either play his concerns off or be upfront about his actions. The latter was not sounding too appealing. “Um, isn’t the point of dating not having boundaries?” 

Felix rolled his eyes. “Was that a joke? Maybe that’s how you act with other people, but that’s not how it’s going to be with me.” 

Sylvain gave him a quick smile and leaned against the wall, bracing for an angry rant. “Okay, shoot.” 

Felix took a quick breath, his shoulders tense. “It gets on my nerves when you touch me.” 

Sylvain waited for more, but Felix just stared back at him. With every second that passed, his eyes grew darker, and whether it was from anger or shame or annoyance, Sylvain couldn’t tell. “Okay. I get that, but you know we can’t entirely cut touching from this arrangement.” 

Felix swallowed and shrugged, his gaze flicking towards the door like he was mapping an escape route. “I know.” 

“Work with me, Felix. We have to touch each other, but of course I’m going to listen if you don’t like it.” 

Felix drew back and said nothing, his face cloudy. 

Sylvain extended his hand towards him, keeping a space between them, and felt a little smile spread across his face. “You know I never want to actually make you mad at me, right? So let’s try a compromise: I’ll ask before I touch you, but you can’t say no purely to make my life difficult.” 

Felix lifted his gaze and suddenly gripped Sylvain’s hand, squeezing it with much more force than necessary with a challenge in his eyes, like he was daring Sylvain to comment. He didn’t say anything, though, just happy knowing Felix was willing to hold his hand, however aggressive his methods might be. It wasn’t worth criticizing him if he was going to draw back. 

“There you go,” Sylvain whispered, pulling Felix a little closer. He held out his other hand, which Felix grabbed after muttering a few curses under his breath. 

“See? This isn’t bad. How are you ever going to get a girl if you can’t stand holding her hand?” 

Felix’s expression darkened and he dropped his hands before starting to storm away. Sylvain cursed under his breath and chased after him. 

“Hey, hey, Felix! I was just joking.” Sylvain stepped in front of him and cleared his throat. “Please don’t go.” 

As Felix silently held Sylvain’s gaze, Ingrid’s words suddenly echoed in his mind. _ You never stop to think about the consequences that your actions will have. _ Was he really that insensitive? Felix knew he was just messing around, didn’t he? 

“I… look, I’m sorry. You’re the one helping me out and I guess I haven’t really been all that nice to you.” It was incredibly difficult to figure Felix out. Sylvain couldn’t quite decide how to act towards him. Everything he’d done so far only managed to upset him time after time. It wasn’t like he went into this expecting Felix to be happy about it, but nothing he did seemed to ease the tension between them. He’d thought it might be better to keep things light and joke about the situation, but all that seemed to do was frustrate Felix. 

“I’m the one who agreed to this, and I’m going to see it through. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to make it easy for you, and it certainly doesn’t mean you can treat me like a toy. Get your act together.” 

“What do you mean? I don’t see you as a toy.” 

Felix ran his finger over the hilt of one of the training swords and sighed, his brow furrowed. “You’re pretty blind for someone who spends most of his time ogling women. I’m going up to my room.” 

“Felix…” 

His plea fell on deaf ears as Felix waved him away and exited the training grounds. 

Sylvain stifled a groan. What was he doing wrong? 

✿ ✿ ✿

Felix had to stop this. He was getting too close to the fire buried deep in his chest and sooner or later he was going to get burned. His feelings were spinning out of control and he couldn’t stop himself from letting them slip through his fingers. Honestly, he regretted calling out Sylvain for being blind. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know why Felix was so moody; Felix was the one who’d struggled to choke off his own feelings for so long. 

Usually, the ache of a good training session was something he found satisfying, but today it was overwhelming when combined with the exhaustion of dealing with Sylvain. 

He closed the book he was studying and pushed it away so he could lean his elbows on his desk and rub his eyes, feeling lost. He’d be humiliated to admit it out loud, but he felt so helpless when it came to Sylvain. He was infuriating, but Felix still stubbornly… he couldn’t even admit his feelings to himself. He couldn’t stamp out the feelings he had for Sylvain no matter how desperately he tried. 

He felt his lips twitch up in a bitter smile. As if it even mattered what he felt towards Sylvain. He would never consider if Felix felt that way towards him, and even if he did, it wasn’t like the feeling was mutual. Even thinking about it like this was a waste of time. 

He slumped forward onto the desk, holding his head up with his hands. Instead of feeling happy that Sylvain had to treat him like his partner, he felt hollowed out by it. His affection was nothing more than a costume, something fake he could shed at any time. 

Sylvain was the one with the upper hand. He could pull the rug out from under Felix’s feet at any moment, and _ that _ was the reason why he couldn’t open up to Sylvain. Why he couldn’t stand his touches and smiles, because it was a knife through his chest to acknowledge that they weren’t real. 

It was probably hours after midnight, and Felix still couldn’t stop thinking about him. His eyes burned from lack of sleep and overuse after distracting himself by doing schoolwork and rereading the studying material over and over just to think about something other than Sylvain. 

He let his head fall onto the desk and shut his eyes, hoping the physical discomfort would distract him from agonizing over the same topics again and again. He only allowed himself to acknowledge how much being with Sylvain like this hurt in his final moments of consciousness before sleep, terrified to confront it during the harsh, revealing light of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry this is super late, school's been kicking my ass and it's been hard to find time to sit down and write T-T  
thank you to everyone who's read this story so far!! i'm sorry if i haven't responded to your comment yet, i promise i'll do it asap! i plan to have the rest of the chapters out much faster than this one!! hope you enjoyed <3 (oh btw the title of this chapter comes from the song "i will survive" bc i played cake's cover of it like a thousand times while writing this, it's such a bop--oh and if you've gotten this far, you can follow me on tumblr @yuuchre if you want! i don't have a lot on there right now, but i plan to post updates and drabbles and stuff there eventually!) 
> 
> *** **update:** i’ve made a small edit to the plot—i changed ingrid’s date to dorothea for multiple reason, mainly because their age gap is much smaller (i totally forgot mercedes is 22 like... damn) and their relationship just makes a lot more sense plot-wise (plus they’re quite adorable together). i’m so sorry to change the story when i’ve already posted it, but that’s what i get for not doing a rough draft of the whole thing before publishing :( you don’t have to go back and reread if you don’t want to because there are only like 2 mentions of it and a couple minor tweaks i made when dorothea first makes an appearance. thank you for understanding and i’m so sorry to do this to y’all!!


	3. Stumble and Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen it, _please_ go check out [ this lovely fan art](https://tolipe-doodles.tumblr.com/post/187735660612/sylvain-voicebro-what-if-we-went-to-the-garreg) by [ @tolipe-doodles ](https://tolipe-doodles.tumblr.com/) !!! It's so so cute and I adore it so please go give it some love :D
> 
> And hey I'm still alive! Sorry it's been such a long time since I've updated, I really just wasn't able to for a long time, but I'm back now and more inspired than ever!! I'm very excited to finish this story and I plan to do so in more a timely manner from now on. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this fic, you guys are awesome!! 
> 
> (Oh also quick note - if you didn't see it before I made a minor edit to the plot so Ingrid is going to the ball with Dorothea now, but it's really only mentioned like one time so you don't have to go back and read anything again.)
> 
> Here's this chapter's song inspo - [ Stumble and Fall by Razorlight! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iZqXoDKfY8)

A chilly breeze blew stray leaves over the grass as Sylvain and Felix made their way to their rooms. Class had just ended, and Sylvain was having no luck trying to wheedle Felix into ditching his training session for a date. 

“It’s a great place, I’m sure you’ll like it.” 

“Stop being such a brat. I already told you no, so leave me alone,” Felix snapped. He held his school books to his chest as if trying to shield himself from Sylvain and his persistence. 

Sylvain heaved a sigh. He knew he was being bratty, but they had to keep up appearances if they had any hope of stirring the masses with this relationship. Getting Felix to go along with his ridiculous plans used to be so much easier when they were kids. He was downright starry eyed back then, always more than willing to go along with whatever stupid scheme Sylvain had thought up. 

“What are you smiling for?” Felix’s irritated voice broke through his thoughts. 

“Just… reminiscing about the past. You’ve gotten more stubborn throughout the years.” 

“I’d offer you an assessment of your growth, but not much has changed. You’ve always been this foolish.” 

Sylvain laughed and bumped Felix’s arm. “Ooh, that’s harsh. So, what if I invite another couple and make it a double date? Would you like that better?” 

Felix shook his head. “We’re still on this? Do whatever you want, but it’s not going to make me accept. Yes, I’m helping you, but this isn’t necessary.” 

If there was one thing Sylvain wasn’t, it was a quitter. He’d chase a woman to the ends of the earth if he decided he really wanted her, and this was no different. Sylvain was going to sell the fact that he wanted Felix, and he wasn’t about to do anything halfway. It was all or nothing. 

“We’ll see about that.” He plucked Felix’s books out of his hands and darted in to press a quick kiss to the top of his head. “Go train, love. Come get your books from my room when you’re done, and then maybe you’ll have changed your tune. ” 

Felix lunged for the books, but Sylvain held them up above his head. He failed to hold in a burst of laughter as Felix flushed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Seriously?” 

“Yes, seriously. If I hold on to these, you’ll have to come visit me. I’ll be waiting for you.” He flashed Felix a grin and waved before turning towards the bedrooms. 

✿ ✿ ✿

Dorothea was waiting beside Sylvain’s door when he got up the stairs, back to the wall and arms folded over her chest. Her unsmiling mouth did nothing to assure him that this would be a happy meeting. 

“Hey, Dorothea.” 

She stepped forward and fixed him with a long, thoughtful stare. “Hello, Sylvain. Can we take a walk? I was hoping to have a chat with you.” 

Well, that didn’t sound promising. His first instinct was to shoot her a cheesy line and a wink to try and break the tension, but he’d give away the true nature of his relationship with Felix soon enough if he didn’t learn to reel in those urges. “As if I’d say no. I actually wanted to ask you something, too, but you’ll have to wait a second while I put these books away.” 

Dorothea adjusted her cap and straightened her sleeves when he came out of the room. “Lovely. Let’s go.” 

She led him down the stairs, always a few steps ahead of him and never looking back. It was clear that she was intentionally snubbing him, but it was the reason for it that troubled him… or rather, the lack of one. He couldn’t remember anything he’d done recently that warranted the cold shoulder from her. Briefly, he wondered if Ingrid had mentioned something about him and Felix to her, but figured that probably wasn’t the case. He didn’t think Ingrid would step in until things started to get out of hand. 

Once they left the stairwell, Dorothea finally slowed to walk beside him. She gestured loosely towards the fishing pond. “Let’s talk over there. I’m curious whether or not you’re going to make a fool out of yourself, so you can ask your question first.” 

Her voice cut like a diamond, coiled and poised like a snake contemplating whether or not it should strike, and he wondered if Ingrid really had told her something about him and Felix she wasn’t supposed to. 

“Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?” He blurted before her stare made him crumble, and chuckled when her eyebrows shot up. “Ah, jumping to conclusions? Don’t worry. It would be a double date, with Felix and I going with you and Ingrid.” 

They stopped in front of the pond, neither of them looking at the other. Dorothea sighed aloud. “Ha, ha, you’re very funny. I’m sure that’s exactly what you meant to say. Anyway, I’ll have to ask Ingrid if she wants to go before I say anything. Why the sudden offer?” 

Sylvain shrugged. “Felix didn’t want to go, so I thought maybe he’d change his mind if I invited someone else.” 

“Yes, because Felix just loves being around lots of people.” Dorothea raised a perfectly shaped fingernail to her lips and tapped thoughtfully. “Come to think of it, I’m sure he also _ adores _ cafe dates, right?” 

A wave of annoyance rolled over Sylvain. Was she really insinuating that he didn’t know Felix? Felix, the person he’d known for years and years longer than she had? Obviously extravagant romance wasn’t something Felix enjoyed, but that wasn’t the point of going. Not that he could explain the real reason why they needed to go to Dorothea. 

He took a deep breath and tried not to bristle at her teasing. “It’s not that. I think he’d feel less pressured if it wasn’t just me there… though yeah, I guess it might backfire. But it’s worth a shot. Didn’t you have something to ask me?” 

She nodded, looking out at the still water. “I did. But I’m going to start with a story. A few months ago, a foolish girl spent her time flitting from person to person on a pointless quest. She eventually met another girl, one that seemed… different from everyone else. Strong, ambitious, and absolutely beautiful. The lovely girl didn’t want anything to do with our dear protagonist at first, but they began to grow closer and built a strong friendship. Finally the lovely girl accepted the first girl’s invitation to the ball.” 

Sylvain snorted. “Thanks for sharing that amusing anecdote of your love life, Dorothea, but I’m sorry to say I don’t see your point.” 

She shot him a dirty look, brows drawn together. “_ That _ is how a relationship should feel. Slow and steady until you both reach a state of mutual understanding.” 

“And?” 

“You and Felix don’t have that understanding. I can feel it in the way you look at each other, in the way you treat each other — where is the spark? Where is the love? It’s saddening how disconnected you are. For a moment there, I thought you’d actually found someone you could learn to care about, but I guess I was mistaken.” 

Sylvain raked a hand through his hair. Goddess, he did not have the energy for this. “We’re not getting _ married _. You of all people lecturing me about this is kind of funny, actually. We’re just seeing where things go by doing these how we want to do them, and I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of our relationship, thanks.” 

“I’m not done meddling. I’m going to figure you out before I’m done.” 

“Good luck.” But she was gone, walking back towards their rooms. 

As much as he didn’t want to consider it… was she right? Was he really so out of touch with Felix that he couldn’t even see the distance between them? His words to Dorothea sounded solid at the time, but now they echoed hollowly in his mind. 

Well, he wasn’t stupid. Of course he wasn’t always good to women. Or, well, ever. But that was what people expected from him, so that’s what he had to do to Felix. It wasn’t nice, but it was what they’d agreed on when they started this scheme. Right? 

✿ ✿ ✿

When the air grew cooler and the sun had been sinking in the sky for a while, Felix decided it was time to deal with Sylvain. 

Felix made his way over to Sylvain’s room and rapped impatiently on his door. He waited for a few moments, tapping his foot on the ground. No response. 

“Sylvain? It’s me. I need my books.” He knocked harder, then waited. Still nothing. He rolled his eyes and knocked once more, his annoyance swelling by the second. Sylvain specifically held on to his books to force him to come over, and now, Felix realized, he wasn’t even in his room. He scoffed aloud and turned away, annoyed by the fact that he felt annoyed. 

“Felix?” 

He noticed Ingrid standing outside her door, her hand lingering on the door handle. 

“Are you alright?” 

“It’s nothing,” Felix muttered. He started to walk away, but Ingrid ran after him, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him. 

“What happened?” 

He shrugged her off and shook his head. “Nothing. I was just wondering if Sylvain was in his room.” 

“I saw him with Dorothea a while ago, but I have no idea where he is now.” 

Felix was silent. A girl. Of course. He should’ve figured Sylvain would be more interested in spending time with a taken girl than giving him back his books. 

“Whatever.” 

He almost bolted to his room, knowing he’d snap if she kept talking to him about Sylvain. Goddess above — he hoped she’d just forget about that whole interaction. It was childish of him to pout because Sylvain wasn’t there waiting for him. What difference did it even make? It wasn’t like he wanted to see Sylvain’s irritating face. It wasn’t like he was looking forward to it. 

He sank to the floor, letting out a heavy, pent-up breath. Waiting for Sylvain to appear like a pet and reduced to a mess of worrying and twiddling his thumbs like some pitiful schoolgirl… what had he become? He was feeling things. Oh, yes, he was feeling things, as much as he tried to hide them. _ Why _ couldn’t Sylvain just be an asshole all the time instead of having a loyal, caring side tucked underneath that shell? If Felix could manage to hate Sylvain, his life would be a thousand times easier. But the universe was not so kind to him. 

✿ ✿ ✿

Sylvain looked up and smiled as Felix dropped his plate on the dining hall table. 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

Felix kept his eyes trained on his food. “Thanks for remembering to give me my books, asshole.” 

A pang of regret smacked Sylvain. He’d gotten so caught up in talking to Dorothea and then half-studying, half-messing around at the library that he’d completely forgotten to meet Felix at his room. 

“I’m really sorry—”

Felix held up a hand, still staring at his plate. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m just letting you know I’m not happy about it.” 

Great, now Felix was pissed at him again. He didn’t _ mean _ to forget, he just got distracted and wasn’t thinking about it. It was a simple mistake. But still, he knew Felix didn’t take promises lightly. 

“I’ll give them to you tonight. You can have them right after we’re finished here.” 

The silence between them dragged on. _ Why _ did he have to forget? He thought they were making progress — thought maybe Felix would even consider holding his hand in public — but now he could kiss that thought goodbye. This was not good for his reputation. 

“Hey.” He let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” 

Felix finally looked at him, his eyes narrowing. “You didn’t. Don’t say that. Just… stop it.” 

The rest of the meal passed much the same. Felix deflected all of his attempts to start a conversation, so eventually Sylvain left him alone. He stalled, picking at his food so it wouldn’t look strange that he was hanging around for so long. 

When Felix stood, Sylvain hung back until he had a head start, then followed him over to the kitchen. He walked up as inconspicuously as he could besides Felix, handing his plate to a girl on kitchen duty. 

“Can you leave me alone?” Felix whipped around and left him standing there. 

Sylvain jogged up to him as he left the dining hall, falling into step beside him. “I owe you. If you give me a second, I’ll get you your books. I’ll even help you study sometime.” 

“I’ve got that covered, so forget it. I’ll get them eventually.” Felix sped up as they climbed the stairs, leaving Sylvain behind. 

“Hey, where are you going?” 

Felix waved dismissively over his shoulder, already at the top of the stairs. “I told you, I don’t want the books.” 

It would probably be easiest to just stop into Felix’s room and bring the books right to him. Hopefully, Sylvain would be forgiven soon after. 

With new determination, Sylvain went into his room and grabbed Felix’s books. He’d do something right tonight, even if Felix didn’t want him to. Goddess, he hoped Felix wouldn’t be angry with him for a long time. Usually, things didn’t stay too rough between them, but every time they had a real argument, guilt never failed to start eating away at him. 

_ Smooth, Sylvain, _ he scolded himself as he rushed down the hall. _ Really smooth. You’ve done nothing but make him mad at you since this stupid deal started. _

Before doubt could deter him from his task, he knocked on the door. “Felix? You in there?” 

No reply. Was he just ignoring Sylvain, or was he actually gone? He must have really wanted to be somewhere if he was gone… or just really not wanted to be near Sylvain. 

“Felix, come on.” 

Still no sound from inside. If he’d gone somewhere to avoid Sylvain, he wasn’t going to succeed for long. Sylvain clutched the books tight to his chest and set off. 

✿ ✿ ✿

He’d checked for Felix in the dining hall but had no luck finding him. His next guess was the library, as it seemed like a quiet enough place to avoid someone you didn’t want to see. 

As Sylvain neared the door, he heard a soft laugh float from inside. Creeping up to the door, he opened it a sliver to peek inside and almost laughed aloud when he saw Felix there, not alone, but with Annette, an array of books spread in front of them. Felix’s elbow rested on a seemingly abandoned open book and there was an easy smile on his face, the two seemingly more caught up in their conversation than in their studies. 

The specifics of their hushed whispers were hard to distinguish from outside the echoey room, but Sylvain could catch snatches of their words. 

“... should speak in class more often… great ideas…” 

“Come on…” 

“I’m serious, Felix…” 

They were… having a normal conversation. About class. Well, what was he expecting? To catch Felix spilling the secrets of their situation to Annette? To hear something scandalous? Hesitation buzzed through his body, but he ignored it and shoved open the door. 

“Hey, Felix. Hey, Annette.” He held the books out like an offering as he approached the table. 

Felix’s expression dropped into his usual frown when he turned his head. “Sylvain.” 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to apologize for going back on my word.” He held out the stack of books. 

Felix glanced down at the books, then over at Annette, and finally reached out to take them. His fingers brushed Sylvain’s as he took the books, and for a second, Sylvain was struck with the urge to catch his hands and drag him out of his seat. 

“Thanks.” 

The tension was nearly pliable. “Studying, huh? If… if you want, I can take you out to study sometime.” 

Felix’s eyes gleamed like melted amber in the dim light, fiery and deep. “Whatever you want.” 

It only took a few more moments of excruciating silence for Sylvain to realize it was probably in his best interest to leave them alone. 

“Well, I’ll talk to you two later.” He held his tongue for Felix’s sake, addressing them together rather than flirting with him alone. He wasn’t one to shy from pushing limits, but he didn’t want to make Felix snap. 

“Talk to you later, Sylvain,” Annette said. For the first time in a long while, he didn’t have to stop himself from flirting with a girl. His heart wasn’t in it. 

Sylvain waved over his shoulder as he turned away, then shoved his hands into his pockets. What the hell had just happened? He never let himself get agitated that easily. Probably because Felix completely brushed him off, even though Sylvain went out of his way to drop those books off. Yeah, he’d forgotten about it in the first place, but he at least deserved a thank you for his efforts. 

And what was with him and Annette? He had to beg Felix to go anywhere with him, so how had she convinced him to study so late? Maybe he just enjoyed spending time with her more. Sylvain knew he was annoying, but Felix had to know his teasing was all in good fun. He couldn’t possibly think Sylvain was _ that _ annoying, but maybe this was a sign that it was just about time to make an effort to shape up. 

After all, he needed Felix. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I swear it's gonna be cute and fluffy soon, there's a horizon on the angst sea lol
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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